You need a massage…4 questions to ask a massage therapist

I need you…I want you to touch me…lower. slower.  not so hard…

I’ve said all of these things to a massage therapist (MT) before.  But that’s only when I’ve slowed down enough to realize my neck is numb, my shoulders are screaming and my stress levels are on red alert.  Study after study tells of the obvious healing powers of touch.  Natch.

Massage was first documented in a book written in China over 5,000 years ago.  Ancient Egyptians, East Indians, Persians and Tibetans all have treatises in their cultural histories involving the art of massage.

Fast forward to 21st century…my gawd!  There are dozens and dozens of flavors of massage and body work to choose from like — myofascial release, craniosacral, hot stone, lymphatic drainage, shiatsu, reflexology, all sorts of Asian styles…overwhelming.  When my husband and I went up to a hot springs in Steamboat a few weeks ago, they offered massage on site.  And the list was long…I just asked for the make-me-feel less-stressed kind.

Massage can be broken down into four common types :

• Swedish
• Deep tissue
• Sports
• Trigger Point

SWEDISH

Controversial in origin, this is what the Western World calls “classic” massage.  The MT uses kneading, pressure, long stroking motions to relax muscles, increase blood flow and assist the release of toxins out of the body. Your nervous system is soothed...oh yeah.

DEEP TISSUE

This takes off where Swedish massage can end.  Instead of going with the grain of muscle fibers, Deep Tissue massage goes across muscles, their wrappers (fascia) and the tendons, encouraging chronic muscles tension patterns to release.

SPORTS

This is an amalgam of schools of touch with the goal of maximizing human athletic performance.  It improves recovery, relaxes over-trained muscle groups and helps to heal injuries.

TRIGGER POINT

Ever had a small cluster of pain right under your shoulder blade?  When someone touches it you grimace as a zing shoots down your arm?  That’s a trigger point.  They are hyper-irritable areas of muscle contractions that can hurt like hell.  MTs of this variety focus on compression of the area.  A unique tool they implement is a cooling spray directly on the orb of pain as they stretch muscle fibers related to it.

Some MTs I’ve had over the years were talented.  Others…not so much.    If you are like me,  you know you knead (fun with puns!) a massage right NOW.

Here are four questions to ask:

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

Find out the massage school they attended.  Do a little research.  Make sure they graduated from a certified program.  Here in the U.S., each state is unique in how, or even if, they regulate MTs.  Usually, if a state is not involved in monitoring massage practices then cities and counties do.  But in a state that does register MTs, make sure a license is obtained.

If you live in the States, ask if they are a member of the American Massage Therapy Association.  They require members to have a minimum of 500 in-class hours of supervised experience and have passed the board certification test.

WHAT IS YOUR PHILOSOPHY?

Many MTs use a variety of techniques in their approach.   Some might be purists, plumming the depths  of a single discipline. Find out their influences. Then do some online research.  You are finding out what their attitude toward health and wellness is.  Is it compartmentalized like Sports Massage?  Or super new-agey…the shit you don’t personally like.

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

First, ask if they do massage out of a home office or a business space.  You may feel disrobing in someones home is a little sketchy for you.  If you can, visit their massage business.  Atmosphere makes the space.  You are getting off your treadmill life in order to slow down and actually breathe for an hour or so.  You’ve gotta feel comfortable enough to let go.  Will there be music?  Low lights?  Aromatherapy?

Speaking of getting naked…do they require complete nudity?  If you have any issue with this, tell them.  They must, right there and then, express respect for your boundaries.  If they resist or get weird,  walk the other way. Ask about confidentiality.

Your safety is important.  They should be insured.  If the MT doesn’t ask you to fill out a health history form, that’s a red flag right there.  Massage feels fucking great but if you have an injury or an allergy it no longer remains a benign therapy.

WHAT IS YOUR BOTTOM LINE?

Massage ain’t always cheap.  But it can be affordable if you do a little hunting.  Is there a school of massage in your area where students give massages at deep discounts?  MTs often offer a variety of session lengths of 30 minutes, 60 minutes or more.  What will they charge you?  Is there a sliding scale for lower income clients?  What is their cancellation policy?  Are there discounts for referrals or punch cards?

I invite you to ask if they make house calls.  My last two massages were done in my great room where I could stumble off the table and into my hot shower then off for a languid afternoon nap.  This can be a luxury.  However, you may have kids, spouses, dogs and in boxes calling your name at home…

Calgon…take me away.

Massage isn’t just for pampering.  It can decrease headaches, anxiety, pain and blood pressures.  Symptoms of fibro-myalgia, arthritis, menopause can diminish.  It is used to reduce the shitty side effects of cancer treatments.  It can help lift you out of minor depression.  And, damn it, it just feels good!

There are over 300,000 MTs and student MT’s in the U.S. alone.  Tons to chose from…overwhelming.  And every country has it’s own standards of care.  Canada has the highest educational standards of North America.  And, curiously, in South Korea only the blind or visually impaired can be licensed MTs.

Listen…I’m over 40.  Some days, I feel like that guy in the movie The Hurt Locker who disables the IED’s in Baghdad: chronic acute stress, adrenaline racing.   But we can make a little headway in putting a chink in the armor by finding time for a little body work. It may just get you feeling outrageously good.

When was your last massage?

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